Order, Duty & Grace

Order, Duty & Grace

“If you don’t remember anything else from this sermon, just remember these 3 words, Order, Duty & Grace!” boomed Pastor Dorai from the pulpit on the day of my wedding. These are concepts completely fundamental to the Christian marriage, and more than a year since that day, these three words still remain clear in my mind.

Where there is order, there is peace. God is the God of order. The universe revolves around the laws, the order set by God. The laws of gravity, force, motion, matter all hold the world together, and in perfect balance, all is well, all is in order. Likewise, in the marriage, there is law, there is order. It is God’s will in the vow “till death do us part” and “Thou shall not commit adultery”. Divorce and adultery bring chaos and destruction. Marriage must be a commitment not only between husband and wife, but most importantly, a consecration unto God. Just as Christ is the head of the church, so the husband is head of the household, and he must recognize his position of authority. He must love his wife, as Christ loves the church, and his wife must respect him, and of course he must respect her. When this order is followed, with Christ as the head of the home and the marriage, it is strong, like three cords that cannot be broken.

  

Then there is duty. The husband must do his best to provide for his family, to protect, and to love. The wife must do her best to respect her husband, to take care of the home, an able partner to her husband. In this age with both genders active in the workforce, it is not uncommon for the wife to earn more than the husband, and sometimes even play the major part as breadwinner of the family. However, work and home are not to be mixed up, and both are to do their part in making their home and marriage strong and faithful to God. The husband in particular must recognize his spiritual authority as head of the home, and realize the power of his prayers in blessing his home and family.

Finally, there is grace. Due to personal differences and upbringing, there is bound to be some degree of conflict in every marriage. This is where grace is so important. Many times we may feel that the other party is unfair, and it is easy to become bitter, and let unforgiveness seep in bit by bit. For the marriage to work, we must learn to forgive, not just once, or twice, but unconditionally. Love keeps no records of wrongs. We may not be able to change our partner in certain ways, but we must still love, we must still forgive, and always pray, pray, pray, trusting God to make it better.

May God bless all of you.

Love,

Jason