Love is patient

On a beautiful June morning last Saturday, we were most privileged to attend the wonderful wedding service of our lovely cousin Sharon to her dashing groom, David. As their chosen Scripture for this special day, they had wisely chosen the magical passage of love taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, and it was on this very passage that Reverend Eddy Ho preached on.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8Love never fails.

What is love? Love means many things to many people. Magical, mysterious, misused, misunderstood, love is indeed a complicated thing. However, for us who believe in the Holy Bible, there are beautiful descriptions about what love should be like, and it is in learning the attributes of love proclaimed that we only begin to understand what love truly is.

Looking first at the negative view of the passage, we must first learn what love is not:-

Love does not envy:-

Envy is a terrible thing, and an inborn tendency of every human being to greater or lesser extent. We desire for that that we don’t have, and this evil jealousy has dark potential to lead us to great evil. Cain killed his brother Abel because of envy. It is not difficult for some of us to grow to hate another because he or she has better qualities or looks than we have. Even in a marriage, it is possible to be sinfully envious of one’s partner, especially when one partner may earn more, gain more attention or be more popular than the other. To overcome envy, we need to first accept ourselves and thank God for who He has made us, faults, warts and all. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in our own special individuality, specially crafted for the Master’s divine purposes. When we learn to focus on what we can do with what we have rather than on what we don’t have, we will have begun to understand one of life’s critical lessons. Even in a marriage, focus not on our own shortcomings, but aspire to do our best for each other with the strengths that we have.

Love does not boast:-

There is an often heard saying that self-flattery is no flattery at all. Nevertheless, it is also another aspect of human nature to boast, to blow one’s trumpet, to brag about one’s achievements and riches. Often time, boasting will directly or indirectly belittle someone else, and that of course, is hardly loving at all. True love does not demand itself of another because of his own greatness, beauty or achievement. Instead, true love is humble and focuses on the good of the other.   

Love is not proud

Pride, another of the seven deadly sins, is perhaps the most difficult weakness that each of us face. We lowly humans always tend to think we are better and deserve better than others. It is pride that became the downfall of Satan, and continues to be a snare to all men, both great and lowly, kings and peasants. As the Psalmist writes:- In his pride, the wicked does not seek God. In all his thoughts there is no room for God. However, the Lord gives grace to the humble. To learn to love, we need first to learn to be humble, not thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought, but considering others as better than ourselves. Especially in the marriage, each partner should adopt a humble and gentle attitude to each other.

Love is not rude

There are many ways to be rude, be it in words or in action, in tone of voice or even a rolling of the eyes. Rudeness is disrespect for the other person, and does much to tear down and sow the seeds of hate. Love is definitely not rude, but the whole concept of love is intertwined with respect. How do we show we love God? We respect Him by obeying Him. We need to be disciplined, especially so in a marriage, to be courteous and respectful of each other.

Love is not self-seeking

The whole modern world, and the whole concept of capitalism is based on the principle of greed, and selfishness. Anything we do must first be perpetuated with the question “What’s in it for me?” This is the opposite of true love, which instead seeks for the good of the other person. When we learn to be less selfish and more caring, love will truly begin to flourish in us.

Love is not easily angered

Anger is not a sin in itself. It is, in fact a natural reaction to unfairness, rudeness, selfishness and wrongs committed to oneself. Even the most patient man will become angry eventually in the face of persistent ridicule and abuse. However, the more we love a person, the more tolerant we will learn to be. We are commanded to bear with one another, to suffer long. Love is not immune from anger, but is able to endure much, seeking to understand first before being understood!

Love keeps no records of wrongs

One of the most important attributes of love, is no doubt forgiveness. Especially in a marriage, it is easy to recall with bitter ease the occasions and times when our loved ones have hurt us, and it is a most human reaction to seek revenge in one way or another. However, love keeps no records of wrongs. Love wipes the slate clean. We need to learn to be like God, whose mercies are new every morning. We need to forget the wrongs of the past, but look towards growing together in the future, in God’s grace!