When we know how to die, we will know how to live

When we know how to die, we will know how to live

SIBKL/Pastor Victor/10/3/12

Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure. “Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth without knowing whose it will finally be. “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. Psalm 39:4-7

As we come near to Good Friday, we have to talk about the death of our Lord Jesus Christ. Death is a taboo subject. Yet death statistics are the same in every country. 1 out of 1 will die. It is a sensitive topic. Still, there are a few ministries in SIB that specialize in engaging death with boldness. There is the cancer support ministry. While some are healed instantaneously, and some are healed progressively, some do not get healed. And we want to know why. Even Lazarus passed away but he became a miracle of the Lord. Some who have made their appointment with death but did not have family support found great solace in the Cancer support group. There, they talk about pursuing victory in spite of illness, in spite of death.

Similarly, there is the Diakonia grief support group. People share how they managed death. The group is about learning death management. Everyone has a story to tell.  The death of a spouse, the suicide of a son. In your loneliness, what do you do? This is not a celebrative group. It is the meeting of real people. As a kid, a good friend of mine died at 15. I did not know how to manage my grief. I blamed the Lord for taking his life. I shouted and shouted in the night. Another time, a boy tried to call me but could not get through. He proceeded to jump off a building with a bible in his hand. I blamed myself even though his parents did not.

The Bucket list is a movie about two guys, Carter Chambers, a blue collar mechanic acted by Morgan Freeman, and a billionaire playboy Edward Cole. Both were diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. In the same hospital room, they decided to write their bucket list – a list of things to do before you die. Edward wished to kiss the most beautiful girl, and Carter wished to behold the most magnificent view. They went on a journey together and had their wish fulfilled before they died.

There is an Egyptian legend that says that when you reach heaven, you will be asked 2 questions. Firstly, have you experienced joy? Secondly, have you given joy to somebody? Death has a strange way of bringing meaning back to life.

There was a professor who found out that he would die and wanted to leave a lasting legacy for his 3 children and in his race against time restructured his life so he had much more time to spend with his children before he died.

In the show P.S.I love you, there was a girl called Holly who married a husband who knew he would soon die. In her grief, she often played back the voice of her husband on her phone. On her birthday, she received a tape recorder with the voice of her husband and thought it was a sick joke. However, letters continued to come and led Holly on a journey to finally release him and move on with her life. He had planned all this knowing that he would die, and was able to love his wife even beyond the grave through his plan.

In the Departed, a Japanese movie, it tells the story of a cellist who lost his job and found a strange job as an embalmer. Somehow, he found meaning in ministering to the dead and the grieving family. When his own father died, he confronted his inner pain and in embalming his dead father discovered that his father really loved him.

In the show 7 pounds, a stockbroker impersonated an IRS agent to go out and do kind deeds for 7 people. After that, he committed suicide. Such was the regret in his heart despite his kind deeds.

In Tuesdays with Morrie, it tells the story of a famous sports writer who went to meet a dying professor to write about him. Somehow, he was so touched by the old man, he continued to meet him week after week, for 13 Tuesdays. Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

Once I attended a funeral of a family which fought a lot. I encouraged them to remember what they promised their mother. Death ends life but not relationships. A few years ago, after reading the book Halftime, I resigned to take stock of my life. Many people said I grew a lot and the secret of this was time.

A beloved Pastor who has since died said “Men are like trees. They are measured when they are lying down.” My former cell group leader who died of colon cancer suffered for 2 years. He was literally reduced to skin and bones. His daughter somehow blamed herself as inexplicably, he cut himself off from his daughter. I used to bring my guitar and sing to him. I told the Lord “I don’t know what to say to this dying man”. Then I felt the Lord tell me to write a book for him. So I told my wife that I needed a few days to write a book, and I poured out my heart in my writing. I wrote everything I wanted to say, what his daughters were feeling now, how he would not see his daughter’s wedding, how I would represent him and walk his daughter down the aisle. I am thankful that after he read the book, his relationship with his wife and children improved. He passed away on my birthday, and thus, I would remember him every year.

In closing, I want to share 10 ways to prepare for death

1) Receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior

2) Share Jesus to others

3) Make peace and forgive

4) Settle all your debts

5) Tell your spouse and children that you love them

6) Read your Bible (Basic Information Before Leaving Earth)

7) Invest in eternity – transfer your credit by serving and giving

8) Slow down to appreciate people

9) Plan for your funeral – enjoy life to the last

10) Write your journal, not just your will

Have you planned for your death? Even God Himself planned His death - But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8