What God has joined together

What God has joined together

Scripture:

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it. Matthew 19:1-12

Observation:

“What God has joined together, let no one separate!” From the beginning it has been God’s will that the marriage covenant be holy and permanent for life. Marriage was God’s original idea. He created us men and women and willed that of certain age, we should leave our homes and start a new family with a chosen mate, as one flesh. The hallmark of marriage is unity between  husband and wife, and gives us an excellent picture of what God intends between God and Israel, Jesus Christ and the Church. Jesus prayed that we might be one as He and the Father are one. That unity in heart and mind and purpose is something precious that God wills for us, and the unity in marriage is the closest of bonds instituted between individuals on earth.

During the time of the Pharisees, they were allowing divorce for frivolous reasons, and the Lord was quick to correct that their practice was wrong, and divorce should not even be allowed except for sexual immorality. In regard to this, we also get a picture of the dangerous consequences of the sin of adultery which is akin to separating what God has joined together. In such instances, it seems that the innocent party is released from the bond of marriage and is able to remarry without committing adultery. However, if divorce is done for any other reason, any subsequent remarriage would result in the parties involved to be committing adultery.  

The disciples are shocked at this teaching, concluding that it is better not to marry if one is still forced to continue in marriage to someone who has become no longer tolerable to live with. At this point, we are soberly reminded that marriage is not easy, and there are moments of differences that can be very severe, and really require leaning on the grace and mercy of God for help.

Here, the Lord also teaches His disciples concerning singlehood in His reference to eunuchs. Some were born that way, some were made that way by men and some choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom. He then adds that the one who can accept it should accept it, in reference to the last point.

Application:

Thank God for the sacredness and sanctity of marriage. For those of us who are married, let us resolve to be ever faithful to our spouse, knowing that our marriage relationship is divine, ordained by God and blessed by God according to His will. Resolve in our hearts to never entertain even thoughts of adultery, which breaks the bond that God has put together in marriage. It is in this area, that we really need to take captive every unclean thought and surrender it at the feet of Jesus. It is part of the necessity of denying ourselves and taking up our cross in living righteous lives in Him. Where marriage is difficult, or even impossible humanly, do not lose hope but continue to pray for reconciliation and healing, for with God all things are possible! For those of us yet to be married, consider the solemnity and sacredness of marriage, knowing that our vows are truly for better or worse, till death do us part. It is not flippant or temporal like Hollywood makes out to be, but for life.

For those who have the gift of celibacy, who are able to live a life of singleness in the service of God, they should accept their calling, and set themselves to serve God wholeheartedly.

Prayer:

We thank You Father in Heaven, for Your grace and for Your blessings. You blessed the human race with the gift of marriage, the joy and blessing of a man and woman committing their lives together for life. We thank You, Lord, for showing us the great unity You destine for us, even in the picture of the unity of marriage. For those of us who are married or are to be married, let us be ever loyal and faithful and loving to our spouse, resolving all difficulties with prayer and hope in You. Lead us not into temptation O Lord. Let adultery or sexual immorality be far away from us. For those who have the gift of celibacy, let us consecrate for lives of singleness and passion in doing Your will, for Your glory. We praise and thank You, Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.    

Daughters of Abraham

Daughters of Abraham

Recently, still on the subject of marriage, I listened to some teaching on the role of wives in submission to husbands.

The main text is drawn from 1 Peter 3 where Peter exhorts wives to submit to their husbands in such a way that even if they are unbelievers, they will also be won over because of the good behavior of their wives. Submitting is not a sign of weakness, but rather of strength. Now men and women are equal before God but their roles are different. Man was made first, and has a role to take the lead, to be the head of the household. Woman was made next to support the men and be a good helpmate and partner. Both are equal but find fulfillment in the respective roles that God intended them for. In the same way, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit is One, but each have their own role. They are one, yet they perform different roles. The Son is submits Himself to the Father, and the Holy Spirit submits himself to the Son.

Now many husbands are deemed unworthy of respect by their wives. However, Peter’s teaching is not to submit only if they are worthy. He says to submit even if they are unbelievers. Now submitting can be done rebelliously, reluctantly giving in but sulking and muttering under the breath. However, the manner of the submission spoken of by Peter gives us the impression of gentleness and love. Now there are some things that are clearly wrong and against God’s will that a woman should not follow even if ordered by her husband – to kill or hurt someone, to prostitute herself, or to do something that clearly harms herself or the children, to worship idols. Nevertheless, even in such situations, the attitude of refusal should be gentle and loving. i.e. “I respect and love you as my husband, but I cannot do this”.  

Daniel and his three friends would not eat meat sacrificed to idols, but did not outrightly defy the officer in charge of them. Instead, they asked him to give them 10 days to prove their diet would leave them healthy. They had a submissive attitude and trusted God to find a way out for them.

The fact is, most of the time, wives do not submit to their husbands are because of pride or selfishness. Sometimes, wives can be so “on fire” that they can really put their husbands off themselves, the church and even Christ. Imagine, a gung-ho passionate lady for God who attends cell group, prayer meeting, seminars, and then goes home and condemns her husband who is not in favor of her attending so many activities. In reality, she can do greater good by submitting to her husband, showing him more love instead of nagging him.

The beginning of 1 Peter 3 is “likewise”, referring to the preceding verses which talk about Jesus who submitted Himself to God, even to death on the cross. Hence, the theme is about wives submitting to their husbands just as Jesus submitted to the Lord.

Verse 3 in a way has been misquoted by some to say women should not wear gold at all. However, there are three things mentioned – women are plaiting the hair, wearing gold, and wearing clothes. The point is not about not allowing women to plait their hair or wear gold or to wear clothes, but to not depend on these for their outward beauty. Instead, of far greater value is a meek and quiet spirit which in the sight of God is of great worth.

When God and two angels came to visit Abraham and promised him a son through Sarah in the coming year, she laughed in her heart thinking “Shall I have this pleasure, being so old, and my lord also?” Even in her heart, Sarah thought of Abraham as her lord, like her master.

Now the rewards of wives submitting to their husbands can be seen in verses 9-10. They will inherit a blessing, being able to love life and see good days. How wonderful it would be for all of us to be able to love living and seeing good days!

There is the story of Abigail who protected her husband Nabal and his servants from slaughter by David and his men. Although he was not worthy of her, Abigail used all her wit and wisdom to protect him. And when he died, David called for her and she became married to the future king of Israel.

  

There is also the true story of a wife whose husband refused to let her go to church. She gently kissed him and told him she had to go, and left. When she came back, she found herself locked out in the cold. The next morning, when he opened the door, she simply kissed him and made him breakfast. Not long after, amazed at the love, he too came to believe Christ and eventually became a famous preacher, whom God used to raise 10 people from the dead in his lifetime.

Now, why would Scripture use Sarah as the example of all women? Ruth too was submissive to Naomi, and there is Abigail. However, Sarah was most famed for being submissive to her husband, and we see that God blessed her with youthfulness and beauty even in her old age, so that she was sought after even at 90!

Each sister in Christ has the potential to be a true daughter of Sarah, with great inner beauty and a quiet spirit, submitting to their husbands as to the Lord. May the Lord bless you with His wisdom and love, gentleness and beauty, as you seek His presence and love others through His love. In Jesus name, Amen.

The threefold cord- Christ in the centre of marriage

The threefold cord- Christ in the centre of marriage

Recently, I was listening to a message on marriage, and there are some interesting points we would do well to consider.

Firstly, as a saying goes, a threefold cord is not easily broken. Christ must be at the center of every marriage for it to have lasting success and growth. When Paul spoke to wives, he said, submit to your husband as to the Lord, and to husbands, he said, love your wives as Christ loves the church. Marriage was instituted to show us God’s love for His people, Christ’s love for His church.

Some wives may feel their husbands are unworthy of respect but Paul exhorts wives, don’t look at him first, look at Lord Jesus, then respect your husband as you would Lord Jesus. Similarly, some husbands look down on their wives, but Paul says, look at Jesus first, see how He loves His church, then love your wife the same way! Jesus is at the center always, and teaches us to love.

Now, looking at all creation, we see that where God made a thing, it should naturally be near where God made it to be blessed. In the skies, God made the sun and moon and stars, and so they should stay there. A fallen star is a dead star. From the sea, God made fishes and fishes should stay in the sea. Likewise, animals made from the land should stay on land.  When God made Adam, He said “let us” referring to God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and saw Adam is made from God himself but Adam’s body is made from the dust. And then God made Eve from Adam’s side. Being created from Spirit, Adam must stay close to God for that’s where he belongs. That’s why there is a desire inside each one of a man’s heart to seek God. Unfortunately, some who have not managed to fulfill that need have turned to idols as a poor replacement. Eve being taken from Adam’s side belongs next to Adam’s side, and there is a sense of meaning and purpose for every wife standing beside her husband. She was not meant to rule over him or be stepped on by him, but to serve beside him as an equal partner. To single women, you can stand at Jesus side and enjoy His warmth and love and when you find your husband, Jesus is still there in your threefold cord.

There is a dangerous teaching in some circles that says that there is a perfect one person that God has placed for you to be your spouse. The implied danger is that whenever things don’t go well, you immediately start to wonder, is he or she the perfect one meant for me? No such thing! Scripture has said that God can cause all things to work together for the good of those who love him. No matter how imperfect or weak your partner may seem to be in your eyes, Jesus can change that in an instant. Your job is to continue obeying, to love your wives as Jesus loves the church, to submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

The first miracle Jesus ever did was at a wedding at Cana, and He turned water into wine. The wine was so good that the master of the ceremony commended the bridegroom. Marriage was always important to Jesus and to God and he stated clearly God’s stand against divorce. Just like Jesus changed water to wine, He can also easily change your marriage into something really wonderful.

To the married, may the Lord bless your marriage with unity and joy and make it like fine wine. To singles, may the Lord bless you with His precious presence, and grant you wisdom and grace where you are led to marry. Praise be ever to His name. In Jesus name, Amen.