Unforgiving to seeking forgiveness – A father’s day story

Unforgiving to seeking forgiveness – A father’s day story

FGB Jaya One/Brother Raymond Chai/15/6/12

Since it is almost Father’s Day, I will share about my earthly father and my Father God’s love.

In the past, I grew up in a family of idol worshippers without feeling Christian love. I passed my Form 3 exam but wanted to come out and work because I was so eager to make money. I knew money was important and that you could buy and do anything with money. And so I went into business.

Although I was the only son among my parent’s six children, my relationship with my own father was always bad. I was an arrogant, proud person. Saving face was very important to me and I often spent 10 dollars for every 1 dollar made.

In 2000, I met my goal and earned RM20Million in a year. I employed 2 bodyguards and insisted on staying at the suites of the hotel and enjoy 5-star treatment wherever I went. I wanted to show how great I was. I wanted to show my father how wrong he was in looking down on me. However, my father never appreciated me.

I would buy him the best dinner and fly him first class, but they did not enjoy it. Being brought up in a very frugal manner, my father was not comfortable eating such expensive food or incurring such expensive airfare which he deemed totally unnecessary.

I would go to the nightclub and mixed with Tan Sris, Datos, and high flyers. However, I also cultivated a dangerous addiction to drugs. Still, I thought I was in control, until the day I lost everything. Money, property, relationships, reputation were all gone. I owed money on credit cards, to banks, to loan sharks. I was so depressed.

Now my father was 70 years old, and had put some property in my name, Even in my poor state, I still desired to live the high life and sold one of my father’s properties. When I went to the bank, I found out there was no money there, to my great shock. Then I found out my father, whose name was joint on the property had withdrew all the money. I was so mad and went to confront him.

He asked me why I needed so much money. I told him that he had given my sisters money and the property was mine. I lied to him that I needed it for cashflow and to run the business. He calmly asked me to bring the creditors and he would pay them. I became violent, screaming that he should not put the property in my name if he did not intend to give it to me. Trembling, my mother asked him to give in to me. He threw the bank book at me, and in anger I threw it back, cursing him, and ran away. I continued to sell of the little assets I had left and left Malaysia. I seriously planned to commit suicide to take revenge on my father and overdosed on drugs. I went into a coma for many days and woke up depressed. No one bothered about me. Even those who cared about me probably thought I had gone off too far to be worth saving. Only 1 sister, the only Christian in my family messaged me. She said “I love you. We all love you. Forget the past. Start again. Your father is already 70 years old. How many more years will he live? Can’t you forgive him for these few years? I broke down and cried before calling her. She immediately proceeded to send money to me and asked me to come back. I was still addicted to drugs but she believed in Jesus and trusted that I would use the money to come home.

She invited me to stay at her home, next to brother Tan Teck Seng. Earlier, brother Tan had tried to share Jesus with me, but I had shot him down saying that if I received Jesus, I could not smoke, drink or go to nightclubs. I told him my parent’s gods were also god but did not restrict me that way.

On the 3^rd day in her home, my niece asked me to take her to her church youth meeting. Since I had nothing else to do, I took her there and observed their meeting. There were about 20 youths aged from 12 to 30. As I looked at them, I started to think back over my life, when I was 12, 25, 30, realizing that I had never had a life like that. They were so humble, so simple, so joyful. I had been like a monkey out of a cage. I realize their life was something different. They held hands as they started to pray. I asked them to pray for me, and they stood around me and prayed. I was deeply touched and felt the peace of God’s presence. I told them I wanted to accept Jesus. The shocked youth leader, who knew my background led me in the sinner’s prayer and my life started from that day washed in Jesus’ precious blood.

My eyes and ears were opened and I wondered why I had done all those silly things. The next day, my sister called brother Teck Seng and he took me to the FGB Damansara chapter. There I asked to receive Jesus again, this time in English, to make absolutely certain Jesus heard me.

Day by day, I felt the difference in my life. I went to church to see Jesus, and the Pastor spoke about forgiveness. Before I had made up mind never to forgive my father, but now I was more concerned about whether he could forgive me. I cried and cried for hours and the Pastor prayed for me. I wanted to ask my father for forgiveness and my sister arranged for him to meet me.

Leading up to that meeting, I was constantly bombarded with fears that my father would not forgive me, and I was really anxious. Before I had even gone near him, God’s presence fell on me, and I started crying. I hugged my father, saying I was sorry and for all the things I had done to him all my life. My father never scolded me but said everything was ok, that the past was over. He too cried and hugged me for a long time. That day, our relationship was restored by Jesus.

My life and attitude changed, and I overcame my addiction to smoking, drinking and drugs. Like the prodigal son, I had sinned against God and against my father, but was now forgiven. I had been set free. Satan had no longer any hold over me! I began living a peaceful, joyful life, full of love.

Despite that momentous meeting, my father still had doubts whether I had truly changed because he knew my character. He imagined that perhaps I was pulling off some trick to get back the money from him. 1 month passed, then 3 months, and 6 months, and I still remained in my new character. Come the 9^th month, my father was convinced that I was truly changed and that Jesus is the true God. He threw away all his idols and the whole family accepted Christ. Life was never the same again.

God fully mended our relationship and I never had arguments or quarrels again with my father. Instead, we respected each other. What God has done for me, he can do for you too!