The worth of a woman-Mother’s Day Message

SIBKL/ 13/5/12/Pastor Lee Choo

One joke says “when men cook, it is a profession. When women cook, it is a devotion.” Another says “Adam’s marriage lasted so long because he could never say to his wife “your cooking is not as good as my mum’s””. The gender issue has always been at the forefront. Why is it so hard for a woman to be an astronaut or an engineer? The stereotyping issue is still very relevant today. What makes women different?

The wife of yesterday had big problems, being treated as objects. However, after the World War II, the feminist movement arose and everything changed.

Is the Bible against women? No! Everything about women’s right actually started in the Bible. It was God that said men and women have equal rights. Both were created in the image of God. For a long time, there was pain and issues because of a lack of understanding of the nature of womanhood. Today, people are more and more accepting that women are equal partners, deserving equal respect and equal opportunities.

In 1 Peter 3:7, it is written “ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” This verse has been taken by some to imply women are weaker. However, “weaker” here means “weaker” in the physical sense only, and it is a known scientific fact that women are generally weaker physically than men, and women have to accept that. 1 Peter 1:18-19 “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect” applies to both men and women who have equal value as equal partners.

Women should have equal opportunity and recourse to justice. The bible tells us women are also human beings and should have access to education, work and improving themselves. Both men and women need respect and honor. Equal rights doesn’t mean equal roles. The problem with the feminist movement is not understanding the different roles of men and women. Women can do many things at the same time.

There is an interesting anecdote of a French class where the teacher asked his students to say whether a computer was male or female. Men said it was female because:-

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories.

And the women replied that it had to be male because:-

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

Basically, men should remain as men, and women should remain as women. It is not about the profession, it is about the roles. There are male and female roles in society.

A man is expected to lead his household and to love his wife as is written in Ephesians 5:23-28 “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself”. Similarly, 1 Timothy 5:4-5,12 says about overseers and deacons “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?), A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well.” “Head” in the Scripture means “source”. The role of the husband is as a covering, as the source of direction for the family.

In Proverbs 14:1, we are shown the role of the woman in building her home. It says “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” What does it mean for men to lead? The word for lead “proistemi” means to stand before, to set over, to preside, to act as protector or guardian, to care for and give attention.” When men lead, it is a calling. When women lead, it is a gifting.

Leading does not mean not listening to the opinions of his wife. There was an interesting book someone wants gave Pastor that was titled “If you want to hear the voice of God, sometimes it sounds like your wife”. The protecting role of the father is not just physical but also spiritual. When children abuse their mother, the father must take control of the child.

A husband has a role to provide for the home. Should a husband be a househusband? No! It is necessary for men to go out and work, to at least provide some of the pay if not all of it. It is not about money.

Men need to love their wives. To love is to value. It is expressed as commitment, care and consideration. Love should not just be with words, but with faithfulness. Commitment means unfailing love for better or worse, while young or old. It is so important to be faithful. Betrayal is the easiest way to crush a woman. Care means never taking a woman for granted. It is sometimes expressed in gifts. When having problems, men should also learn to confide in their wives, to trust them and include them in their worries.

The word “build” in Proverbs 14:1 means to set up, to establish, to build a nest. The opposite of build is to neglect or destroy. From my experience in the women’s ministry, whatever the problem in a household, when the women rise up to build back, that family has a chance of survival. However, if the woman says “I don’t care” and neglects her role of building, that family has no future.

How does a woman build her house? Firstly, a woman needs to build the atmosphere. Women who are more spiritually attuned should spend time of worship in the home. Worship will bring down the right atmosphere. It is so important for women to pray.

Secondly, a woman needs to build relationships. A woman should endeavor never to divide a man from his mother, a child from his father, and never divide God’s house. Some useful tips for wives:- If you make him the king, he will make you the queen. The stronger person initiates peace. Tenderness builds intimacy, lectures do not.

Finally, a woman needs to build herself, to build her womanhood. A woman should not feel guilty for going to the hair saloon. Ultimately, a woman should build her worth in God, not in her husband or children. As said in 1 Peter 1:18, the most precious thing that gives us value is the blood of Jesus.