Daughters of Abraham

Daughters of Abraham

Recently, still on the subject of marriage, I listened to some teaching on the role of wives in submission to husbands.

The main text is drawn from 1 Peter 3 where Peter exhorts wives to submit to their husbands in such a way that even if they are unbelievers, they will also be won over because of the good behavior of their wives. Submitting is not a sign of weakness, but rather of strength. Now men and women are equal before God but their roles are different. Man was made first, and has a role to take the lead, to be the head of the household. Woman was made next to support the men and be a good helpmate and partner. Both are equal but find fulfillment in the respective roles that God intended them for. In the same way, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit is One, but each have their own role. They are one, yet they perform different roles. The Son is submits Himself to the Father, and the Holy Spirit submits himself to the Son.

Now many husbands are deemed unworthy of respect by their wives. However, Peter’s teaching is not to submit only if they are worthy. He says to submit even if they are unbelievers. Now submitting can be done rebelliously, reluctantly giving in but sulking and muttering under the breath. However, the manner of the submission spoken of by Peter gives us the impression of gentleness and love. Now there are some things that are clearly wrong and against God’s will that a woman should not follow even if ordered by her husband – to kill or hurt someone, to prostitute herself, or to do something that clearly harms herself or the children, to worship idols. Nevertheless, even in such situations, the attitude of refusal should be gentle and loving. i.e. “I respect and love you as my husband, but I cannot do this”.  

Daniel and his three friends would not eat meat sacrificed to idols, but did not outrightly defy the officer in charge of them. Instead, they asked him to give them 10 days to prove their diet would leave them healthy. They had a submissive attitude and trusted God to find a way out for them.

The fact is, most of the time, wives do not submit to their husbands are because of pride or selfishness. Sometimes, wives can be so “on fire” that they can really put their husbands off themselves, the church and even Christ. Imagine, a gung-ho passionate lady for God who attends cell group, prayer meeting, seminars, and then goes home and condemns her husband who is not in favor of her attending so many activities. In reality, she can do greater good by submitting to her husband, showing him more love instead of nagging him.

The beginning of 1 Peter 3 is “likewise”, referring to the preceding verses which talk about Jesus who submitted Himself to God, even to death on the cross. Hence, the theme is about wives submitting to their husbands just as Jesus submitted to the Lord.

Verse 3 in a way has been misquoted by some to say women should not wear gold at all. However, there are three things mentioned – women are plaiting the hair, wearing gold, and wearing clothes. The point is not about not allowing women to plait their hair or wear gold or to wear clothes, but to not depend on these for their outward beauty. Instead, of far greater value is a meek and quiet spirit which in the sight of God is of great worth.

When God and two angels came to visit Abraham and promised him a son through Sarah in the coming year, she laughed in her heart thinking “Shall I have this pleasure, being so old, and my lord also?” Even in her heart, Sarah thought of Abraham as her lord, like her master.

Now the rewards of wives submitting to their husbands can be seen in verses 9-10. They will inherit a blessing, being able to love life and see good days. How wonderful it would be for all of us to be able to love living and seeing good days!

There is the story of Abigail who protected her husband Nabal and his servants from slaughter by David and his men. Although he was not worthy of her, Abigail used all her wit and wisdom to protect him. And when he died, David called for her and she became married to the future king of Israel.

  

There is also the true story of a wife whose husband refused to let her go to church. She gently kissed him and told him she had to go, and left. When she came back, she found herself locked out in the cold. The next morning, when he opened the door, she simply kissed him and made him breakfast. Not long after, amazed at the love, he too came to believe Christ and eventually became a famous preacher, whom God used to raise 10 people from the dead in his lifetime.

Now, why would Scripture use Sarah as the example of all women? Ruth too was submissive to Naomi, and there is Abigail. However, Sarah was most famed for being submissive to her husband, and we see that God blessed her with youthfulness and beauty even in her old age, so that she was sought after even at 90!

Each sister in Christ has the potential to be a true daughter of Sarah, with great inner beauty and a quiet spirit, submitting to their husbands as to the Lord. May the Lord bless you with His wisdom and love, gentleness and beauty, as you seek His presence and love others through His love. In Jesus name, Amen.